Potty Training Thus Far

For those of you who have absolutely no interest in the bodily functions of my children, please go read something else.

Still with me? Hey, thanks! I know, it's gross to some people, but if you're in the potty training stage or not looking forward to the potty training stage, or so glad that you're done with the potty training stage that you can laugh at me, then you can relate.

When I returned from my trip to Austin with my sister, in addition to bringing home many soothing kid-free memories of massages and margaritas by the pool, I also brought home a bunch of hand-me-downs. Some of those hand-me-downs were in the form of Thomas the Train underwear. (Editor's Note: Please delete this entry when boys are old enough to read so that they never know how excited they were to wear their cousins hand-me-down underwear.)

When Milo and Huck caught sight of the underwear they decided that they were ready to wear them. It was 7 A.M. and I was exhausted from the weekend, rushing around the house trying to get a load of laundry in and convince Annabella to get dressed and brush all the things that needed to be brushed and wash all the things that needed to be washed. My guard was down, so I said "yes."

Two weeks later, I haven't regretted my decision. We've had some accidents, especially when one of them is waiting for the other one to go (the joys of twins!). I keep remembering what Clay from the Dad Labs said on our podcast - "It's only pee." Of course, sometimes it's not only pee, which is a little more difficult to deal with, but certainly not as difficult as carrying and then giving birth to two 7.5 lb. babies and then nursing them. (That is, by the way, my way of coping with anything difficult.)

I should mention that the boys have been using the toilet before bed and naps for several months, but they never asked to use it and their diapers were frequently wet throughout the day. At the beginning I asked them every 10 minutes if they had to use the bathroom and then took them every 15 minutes whether they had to go or not. As the weeks have wore on, I ask more infrequently now they even tell me that they have to use the toilet...sometimes.   

No Naps: A Play in 7 Acts

Last month I made the cocky assertion that Milo and Huck were going to stay in their cribs until they went to college.

I think they heard me.

On Sunday, September 2nd the unthinkable happened. It was naptime and the boys were quiet in their cribs. We assumed that this meant that they were sleeping, but what they were really doing was plotting.

We heard the door open with it's signature creak, a very different creak than the sound of Annabella's door. Then we heard little boy voices, conspiring voices. A few seconds later we saw Milo and Huck walking down the stairs. My heart sank into my stomach. Goodbye hours between 1pm and 3pm. Goodbye naptime.

Rather than bore you with all the specifics, I wrote this little play. Enjoy!

MONDAY - CONSEQUENCES

Me: I am going to take your trains away if you climb out of your cribs one more time.

Them: Here are my trains!

TUESDAY - BRIBERY

Me: If you stay in your crib we'll go to the pool and go swimming after naptime.

Them: I don't want to go swimming.

WEDNESDAY - NONCHALANCE

Me: If you get out of your crib I am not going to talk to you or look at you. I am just going to put you back in your crib and leave the room.

Them: Mommy, I'm out of my bed! Don't look at me!

THURSDAY - TRICKERY (AKA "QUIET TIME")

Me: You don't have to sleep. You just have to play quietly in your cribs.

Them: OK. (Five minutes of laughing and shouting later.) Hi Mom. We're done playing quietly in our cribs.

FRIDAY - LATER NAP

Me: Stay in your cribs. Stay in your cribs. Stay in your cribs. Please, stay in your cribs.

Them: No! No! No!

They finally fall asleep at 4:30 and when they're still sleeping at 6 pm I wake them up. They don't fall asleep until 9pm that night.

SATURDAY - NO NAP

Us: :(

Them: :(

SUNDAY - BABY GATE ON THEIR DOOR

Us: You can play quietly in your rooms and take a nap if you feel like it.

Them: (After an hour of play.) Mom! Dad! We're ready for you to let us out of our cage!

Us:

The Big Boy Bed

Have I mentioned yet that we plan to keep Milo and Huck in their cribs till they go to college?

This fear of their freedom comes from the experience we had transitioning Annabella to a crib, which took about three billion years. We put her in a bed when she was 18 months old because we thought we needed the extra crib when the boys were born.

We didn't.

The boys didn't sleep in cribs until they were about 3 months old and they didn't sleep in separate cribs until they were 6 months old.

Plus, we thought she was ready.

She wasn't.

Until she was over three years old, she would get out of bed ten or more times a night no matter what we did. Nanny 911 makes it look so easy, but I assure you that we followed all of her stupid rules and nothing worked.

So you can understand how the words "big boy bed" give me the willies. Thankfully, Milo and Huck do not climb out of their cribs (yet). They can, but they don't. They can climb to the top of the playground slide and jump off and they don't do that either. They do have some survival instincts. Some.

I understand that eventually we'll have to transition them to beds and I have faith that the boys will have a smoother transition to a bed for the following reasons:

• They're a full year older than Annabella was when we took away her crib and they understand a little more about consequences of not behaving.

• They may benefit from the powers of positive peer pressure.

• They don't have two little twin brothers screaming their heads off when they're trying to fall asleep.

• I like to have faith in things.

When did you transition to the big bed? What worked? What didn't? Will I ever sleep again?

The Landlord: Outtakes

By now most of the free world has seen the hilarious Will Ferrell vs. The Cursing Toddler video called "The Landlord." Some of you have asked me why I don't create a similar video with my own precious toddlers who are always saying the darndest things. It's not that I'm above teaching them to curse, it's just that it's too much work to capture a toddler on video. Please see evidence below.