Preschool Etiquette Question

Hypothetically speaking, how should one respond if her almost three year old child has bitten his preschool teacher? A verbal apology, of course. But is anything further appropriate?

An apology note?

Flowers?

A plant?

Comments

[Dad Gone Mad]

A tetanus shot and a shiny red apple.

[debinsf]

Oh! My.

My kids were bitten by another when my littlest was an infant. On two different days. by the same child.

Yeah, the mom called. Yeah, it was the littles and not me.

I still would have preferred some chocolate. I'm sure if he/she teaches preschool, that person is kind and forgiving. but chocolate is good.

:-)

[Kyle Dutton]

Megan,

My boss used to teach preschool, so, I asked her advice. She said giving a card after a verbal apology would absolutely thrill a teacher. It would leave no doubt that you truly do feel sorry about what happened.

Hypothetically...of course.

-Kyle

[Ruth H]

genuflecting??

[Nikki MK]

My daughter was beloved by her preschool teachers as a sweet child, but a biter nonetheless. They assured me that most toddlers do it in the same way adults shake hands or dogs sniff inappropriately.

However, on one day when she was particularly out of line with one of her teachers, I made her take personal responsibility. She had to make a card, hug the teacher, and apologize. It was important to me that she face her teacher and personally take responsibility for her actions.

This happened well over a year ago and she still remembers the lesson learned from it.

[Amanda]

I've been the preschool teacher! A card from the child in question would be a wonderful gesture. Extra credit if he makes it himself. Super extra credit if there's candy or flowers as well.

[Bubbles_FL]

My child was bitten by another and the bruises on her face lasted over 9 months. The bruises showed in every picture we took of her. She was bitten by a 1 1/2 yr. old child, and she was 1 1/2. At that age bitting just "happens" and I believe it is a child's way of expressing themselves, as they are not yet socially able to.

Yet I was furious to find out this child had bitten 4 other children in a vicious manner before and the the day care center didn't remove the child until the child was able to recognize his wrong doings and stop.

On another note, over the next 2 years my daughter has been bitten at least 4 times by other children, but none as bad as the first vicious incident on her face. In turn, my child has bitten 2 other kids now too. I truly believe they will grow out of it as soon as they realize it's not socially acceptable.

[Dale at Tech Talk for Families]

Lotion with Tabasco sauce in it.

[Melissa]

I was a preschool teacher for many years, and am now the director of the same preschool I taught at. Rest assured, biting happens. Sometimes kids just have to get what their feeling out, and rarely have the words to do so. Even if they have the words, they have a hard time understanding that it's ok to tell an adult that they are REALLY angry. Most teachers understand this, and an apology is a step in the right direction. I never recommend forcing an apology from the child though because very few kids truly understand at that age what "sorry" really means. Better to explain to them how they made the other person feel, it's less abstract and easier for them to grasp the true lesson. And for mom, be available to the teacher as she and your little one work on getting past the incident, and finding more appropriate ways to vent those frustrations. Knowing that the parent is on your team is the best gift any teacher could ask for.

[dani]

I have been the teacher bit and whatever you do make sure that you at least acknowledge the incident! The worst thing is to have to tell a parent that their child bit you and all they have to say is "oh". No apology, nothing. Just acknowledge it.