The Milk Memos

I just finished listening to a Manic Mommies episode where Erin and Kristin interview one of the authors of The Milk Memos: How Real Moms Learned to Mix Business with Babies. The book (written by Cate Coburn-Smith and Andrea Serrette) grew from Smith's own experience going back to work at IBM after maternity leave. The first day back as she pumped milk for her baby in the converted janitorial closet they'd given her, she wrote this note on a paper towel:

"I'm a new mom and today is my first day back at work. Is anyone else using this room?"

After someone responded on the paper towel, Cate brought in a spiral notebook and the women who used the room began a daily correspondece that eventually became The Milk Memos.

Just listening to these women talk brought back so many memories (good and bad) about what it was like to breastfeed while working full-time. It was a huge challenge when I went back to TechTV after having Annabella and I wasn't even in the office full time.

Here are just a few of my own memories:

1. I once got up from my desk armed with my Pump in Style (cleverly disguised in a faux leather briefcase that anyone who knew me knew I would never carry) and said jokingly to the person one cube over, "I'm going to feed the baby." To which, he (who'd been sitting next to me all day) asked, "Your baby is here today?"

2. I once had to pump on the dirty floor of the bathroom.

3. The first room I was given to pump in had large windows with no blinds.

I think the pumping memories are the ones that come back to me because they're easier to remember and laugh at then the memories of what it was like to leave my 4 month old daughter at 6am and not see her again until 12 hours later. A search through my archives came up with this post I wrote the day before I went back to work. At first, it broke my heart and then I read the 61 comments attached and remembered what kind of support I had from people who knew me from TechTV. For those of you who have been following me since then, you know that I left TechTV three months later and I've been working from home since then.

Moms and dads, got any back-to-work memories you'd like to share? Maybe someone will come upon this and see that they're not the only parent who thinks that transitioning back to work feels a little bit like botched heart surgery.

Comments

[Brandi]

I remember being so engorged and having to go into the stall to squirt milk into the toilet!

[Christina]

I went to a weeklong conference in San Francisco when my baby was 3 months old. Husband and baby came with me to California, where we stayed with family in San Jose. Thank god she would take a bottle. Each day I got up at 5, nursed the baby once, then went to catch a train. I'd get back at 6pm or so. And since I was roaming randomly around a convention center, the Pump 'N Style was impractical. So I kept going in the bathroom for half an hour at a time, to manually express (and dump). I tried the manual pump, but soon found it easier to do without entirely.

See also, my first clogged duct.

[steve]

When my daughter was born, the company I was working for was going through a merger and layoffs and I had just interviewed for and gotten the job I'd been doing for 5 years only with a new boss & new department. The pressure of it all, along with me just being an idiot, I was back at work the day after we all came home from the hospital. My wife had had an emergency C-section & wasn't really supposed to do stairs & our bedrooms are in the second floor so I'd help my wife & Emma down every morning, then leave them for work. Emma was a colicky baby & didn't nap well either. I did do more of the night time feedings, but I still look back at it & feel like a heel - and apologize for it.

When my son was born, I had been let go by the company & was a stay-at-home & work-at-home dad, and now I wouldn't have it any other way. I couldn't do it without my mother-in-law's help. A couple of days a week, I take the kids to her house & she watches the kids while I work. Which is really perfect, I get to do the work I enjoy, and when I need a break, I can take a break & play with the kids.

[Bruce Savage]

My wife's first day back after the birth of our twins was Tuesday. She is having a hardtime with breastfeeding as well. She is actually going out to her car to pump. Isn't cubicle life wonderful!

This weekend I am going out to get her the car charger for her breast pump so she doesn't have to burn through so many batteries.

Its really said that working for a health system like we both do that her office doesn't have anywhere she can go.

[Christy]

I can remember having to pump in a stall in the ladies bathroom. Granted it was the handicapped stall so it was big enough and someone put a chair and a shelf in their for me, but it was in a room with a bunch of other stalls. One day someone said, what is that noise. I was so embarassed and will never forget the "pumping" experience. For my first child I pumped exclusively for 6 months as she never would latch on. Let's just say nights were no fun pumping and feeding. My second one was a lot nicer b/c I finally had a breastfeeding baby, but I still had to pump when I went back to work. :( But boy nights were so much easier.

BTW I love reading your blog. I have been reading it ever since you left TechTV. You are a great writer and I love all your stories. Thanks so much for continuing to do this as I have seen some luls throughout the years, but it seems that you are back into it (probably since the twins are older now). I also love the new podcast you are doing with Leo. You guys are great!