My OB & Me

It's the last month of my pregnancy, which means I go to see my doctor once a week. I have a confession to make. I don't really like her.

I know I'm in capable hands. The practice is very well-respected. The hospital where I'll deliver is known as the best place in the city to have a baby. And from what I've read and been told, your doctor is only there at the last moments of delivery or if something goes wrong. Otherwise, it's the nurses who are important, and I've heard only good things about the nurses at my hospital.

My doctor is young. She has children of her own. I started going to her on the recommendation of a friend who said she was "laid-back." I thought I would like laid-back. It turns out that I don't.

I've had these feelings for a while. When I told my sister at Christmas she wisely recommended that I find another doctor. I didn't even try. I thought it was too late. Or maybe I was just lazy. Or maybe I thought that my doctor and I could work things out. It doesn't much matter now, because now it really is too late.

You see, when I go to my appointments. I want to chat with my doctor a little. I want to be her friend. But all she seems to want from me is my blood pressure, my weight, and my urine. I want to give her a hug. She wants to move on to her next appointment. I'm unsatisfied with the relationship. We're not in love.

I can say that one good thing has come of this. It has made me extra careful about choosing baby Morrone's pediatrician. We've interviewed several candidates and Marco and I feel like we've chosen the perfect one. Not only does he come highly recommended with lots of experience, but when we met with him we chatted for an hour, not only about first appointments, vaccinations, and diaper rash, but about history, technology, and his passion for the sitar. He's a little bit wacky and we like that a lot. If that ever changes, this time we won't hesitate to find someone new.

Comments

[MonkeyMusicBoxGiver]

wacky like Leo, or wacky like my friend who screams monkey every 10 seconds?

[Vicki]

Megan, You might be surprised when it comes to delivery time. My OB was just like yours (female, but no kids). All business during the appointments... I didn't much care for her. But when the delivery came, she was wonderful -- attentive, caring, funny, encouraging. I was blown away. Hope yours works out to be ok, too.

[Kat]

It's important that you and Marco both feel comfortable. Wacky is good..especially with peds. I had a neurosurgeon who I thought absolutely despised me and he scared the you know what out of me the whole time he treated me. His last day before reassignment he gave me a big hug and told me what a wonderful person I was. Maybe your OB is just slammed or really, really shy and will warm up when you most need her to be supportive and encouraging.

[Ralph]

Being comfortable with your doctor is important, but that seems to be harder to come by now ada-y's.

You will be fine, the hospital and their staff is premiere for newborns. The doctor will come and go, her expertise and "down to business" will be there when she is needed.
It is sad that you weren't able to bond during this time, but it appears you have had a good pregnancy.
I am sure you are getting edgey or edgey-er and probably anxious.
Hang in there, I feel like you have a good support system (Oh, SOOOO, Important), and plenty of well wishers, myself included.

Darkstar
http://www.darkstar.us

[Wesley Hetrick]

Forgot to say happy birthday to you. So here it is a belated HAPPY BIRTHDAY!!!!!!!! Hope you had a good day.

[Mx]

Broken down and replied to >

It's the last month of my pregnancy, which means I go to see my doctor once a week. I have a confession to make. I don't really like her.

>Wouldn't it be kind of scary if your doctor read your blog? Yeah, she suddenly starts being all friendly to you and everything, yeah, that would be cool.

My doctor is young. She has children of her own. I started going to her on the recommendation of a friend who said she was "laid-back." I thought I would like laid-back. It turns out that I don't.

>I'm sorry, maybe you should start using that Morrone charm on her and make her a better person?

I've had these feelings for a while. When I told my sister at Christmas she wisely recommended that I find another doctor. I didn't even try. I thought it was too late. Or maybe I was just lazy. Or maybe I thought that my doctor and I could work things out. It doesn't much matter now, because now it really is too late.

> It's your baby, it's your time, and you will be footing the bill for the hospital. I recommend you get your moneys worth and find the greatest doctor around. Then again, would you rather have someone who is nice and friendly, or someone that is an expert and knows exactly what she is doing the whole time and makes everything right for you?

You see, when I go to my appointments. I want to chat with my doctor a little. I want to be her friend. But all she seems to want from me is my blood pressure, my weight, and my urine. I want to give her a hug. She wants to move on to her next appointment. I'm unsatisfied with the relationship. We're not in love.

>Feel free to chat with me :-D Feel chatty? Call me, I'd be more than bursting with joy if you ever called and said "I want to talk". I'm good at hugs too ;-)

I can say that one good thing has come of this. It has made me extra careful about choosing baby Morrone's pediatrician. We've interviewed several candidates and Marco and I feel like we've chosen the perfect one. Not only does he come highly recommended with lots of experience, but when we met with him we chatted for an hour, not only about first appointments, vaccinations, and diaper rash, but about history, technology, and his passion for the sitar. He's a little bit wacky and we like that a lot. If that ever changes, this time we won't hesitate to find someone new.

>Glad you feel this way about your choice. I hope he turns out to far exceed your greatest expectations, although I am fairly certain that you will be more focused on baby ronne than the pediatrician :-)

Take Care Megan!

~Mx

[Robb]

While I don't have a uterus, so I can’t speak to the OB issue, I do think your work to find a good pediatrician will pay off 10 fold over what you are going through now. Our son, Andy was a preemie born at 26 weeks, and I have wanted to slap many a doctor (endocrinologists, neurosurgeons, cardiothoracic surgeons) in Andy’s care, yet we always come back to how much we love, and respect our pediatrician. He is in charge, and very active in his care – and I just got a call from him today (Andy has an MRI tomorrow). I am a stay-at-home Dad, and need to take Andy 2 to 3 times a week to one doctor or another. You want the best for your child, and at times aren’t given the chance to select a doctor (the OB that delivered Andy was a high-risk OB, and it was an emergency c-section). That OB saved my wife, and child’s life, and was as grumpy as they come, but in the end – I wouldn’t have wanted any other person there. If your OB is not a good OB, then get a new one now – don’t hesitate. If it is just a personality issue, don’t worry – you aren’t marrying them, and will probably forget they were ever there.

[Ouabaio]

i hope you pediatrician can suggest something other than "tabla lessons" when baby morrone is ill. all joking aside, if you have to get on well with either the ped. or the ob, i say you're lucky it's the former, 'cause the ob is only around for a few months, and if you and marco decide to have another baby you can drop the ob, but dropping the pediatrician could be a little awkward.

[WheelMan]

Having a doctor you can chat with is really nice, and I think when being treated by a doctor most people prefer this kind. But, if you're in the waiting room while your doctor is chatting it up with the fifteen people ahead of you, one by one, then it ain't necessarily such a great thing. :)

This sort of thing (sometimes anyway) is all about perspective, you know?

[CoolB]

First of all Happy Belated BDay Megan, I can't believe I missed that, forgive me?

Second, I know you'll have lots of people thinking about you and baby Morrone before, during and after your labor and sending you good vibes as well as praying for you. I agree with Robb, as long as the staff is knowledgeable about their jobs and can get it done right that's what matters, yeah it would be nice if you liked them more, but as long as Baby Morrone and you are in good hands that is what matters.

[Mx]

And hey, if worse comes to worse we (the fans) can start a riot at the doctors office demanding them to be more friendly :-D

[MonkeyMusicBoxGiver]

Oh well, I know nothing about any of this stuff (guess I'm to young) and I hope this all works okay...I can't wait to see the baby.

Good Luck!:-)

[Doug]

Being rushed seems to be the way things are in the health care field these days. I know doctors are under pressure to see more patients per day and they are swamped with the paperwork that goes with it.
It's great when you can find a doctor that will talk with you as a person. I hate being just a number. Still, things will be just fine. The nurses and support staff are very important and it sounds like you're happy with them.
Happy belated birthday Megan.

Doug

[lisa]

Megan,

My partner and I have really enjoyed watching your pregnancy on TV. I got pregnant 4 months ago, and I'm even more impressed that you're able to hold it together and work in public (I've been a mess)! Anyway, I just read a really good book about hospital births and what to be aware of: "Misconceptions: Truth, Lies, and the Unexpected on the Journey to Motherhood" by Naomi Wolf. After reading it, I ditched the OB and went the midwife route. But if I hadn't gone to that extreme (or I didn't have the time, like you), I would've at least hired a doula (http://www.dona.org/). They are supportive care givers who will be there during delivery and post-partum to make sure you get the support you need.

Lots of luck to you!! We're looking forward to seeing the baby!

-lisa

[Mx]

Just wanted to tell you something Megan, and anyone else that wants to know, ever since I got on the Tech Tv Chat and since I've started posting to blogs I've been called Mx instead of MxPxSk8erIZE. Well, I decided to stick with it, so now my AIM name is "Purely Mx". Anyone that gets as bored as I do sometimes, hit me up and yell at me, or be nice, I don't care, I'm here for ya :-) And Megan, I figured I'd go by your rules about posting stuff to your blog about thing other than your blog, I'll be using my one credit for this post :-P Thanks, have a good day!

[Hassan]

When my wife was pregnant with our first child she had the best OB/GYN in the world. I told my wife that I would almost want to get pregnant to have her as a doctor. We were so spoiled. The doctor ended up moving Back East (from LA) and sold her practice. We still talk about her occasionally but we never bring up the other OB that we had. Aaah. I miss her greatly.

[Mx]

Dude....you make me almost wish I had a OB/GYN, oh wait, no, I'm a guy. Dang it!

[Mx]

Hey, I have a question Megan, is there anyway for us (the fans) to get e-mails when you update your site or when other people post new replies? I think that would be really cool.

~Mx

[nicole]

Ahhh yes ... bedside manner. I feel that it is very important when choosing a doctor. Sure, your doctor is compentent, but if she makes you feel like a number, it just sucks having to deal with her. I can totally relate.

[David Barker]

Good luck on the new baby,hope to see you back on air soon,David aka Vader

[Greg]

Oh, poor Megan. All she wants is a hug... **HUG**

[jennifer]

I've been wondering if I should email you and mention this, as I watch the show with dh almost every night and have been following your pregnancy with a 'professional' interest. But after reading your blog (you should rename it, though, I went to jumpingmonkey.com and found a porn site) I decided this is the perfect opportunity to mention doulas. If you have not heard of doulas before, go to www.dona.org. They will give you those hugs you are looking for from your dr. I am a doula, and had a doula for the birth of my second daughter. They stay with you from the time you call them until you deliver, even if it's 12 hours or 20. No shift changes, no trying to remember that last nurses name who breezed in, charted, and left again. She's there from start to finish. She can hang back and make suggestions to Marco for making you feel more comfortable, or she can take a more active role. It's not too late to find one. I've had moms call me two weeks overdue.

Doulas have a fairly active internet community, too, if you wanted to give us a plug on Screen Savers :)

Good luck and happy birthing. I hope you have many fond memories of the experience. I know my life has never been the same since I had my daughters.

Peace,
Jennifer Wisenbaker, CD (DONA)

[Liz]

I'm glad you picked a pediatrician you really liked. Just make sure that, as Baby Morrone gets older, s/he likes the pediatrician as well. As a girl, I was extremely uncomfortable having a male pediatrician, and to this day I've skipped physicals because he makes me uncomfortable. So if teenage Baby Morron is unhappy with the pediatrician, see if it's a gender issue or something else. I wish my parents would have listened to me.

Good luck with the rest of the pregnancy!

[Lindsay]

My doctor seemed a little preocccupied during regular doctor appointments, but when i started having problems with my pregnancy and he put my in the hospital he completely changed personalities. When it came time for the delivery and i was in the hospital he was so nice and comforting. During the c-section he was talking to me and made me feel a lot better about him delivering my baby. I think what it is is that during the doctor appointments it was really only a check-up, but when it was go time he was much more into the delivery and me. Hopefully that will be the way your doc is! Good Luck!

[Trisha]

Megan, I completely understand what you're talking about! With my first son, I was going to a doctor in the city of which we lived. I went on recommendations and she seemed fairly good for her practice, at first. The more I went to see her, the more patients I saw- and for the entire 9 mos I was pregnant, I maybe MAYBE saw her 3 times in the office. She too was moving on from patient to patient, spending very *little* time with them as possible. She had mid-wives, and I had gotten really close to one of them, because that's who I saw regularly. When it was time for my son to be born, I was brought in early to be enduced. I asked my mid-wife if she'd be there, but do you think she was?! I had no chemistry with my original doctor, and I couldn't work with her as a team. She couldn't understand what I wanted, and I vise versa.

I too am in my 9th month of pregnancy, with my second son. I'm almost done! Since I had a C-section with my first, I'm scheduled to go in this time too. (March 28th!!! The countdown has begun.) I love my doctor this time. We moved, and I had to find a new one. He is the greatest person I have come to met, he truely cares for my wishes. He's good at his job, very personal.

I've come to the conclusion that going to a female doctor isn't necessarly the best choice of doing. Put pride aside and go with a man! Women, because they're women, automatically think they know what you're going through, because they've done it themselves. But I think they forget that just because they know what's going on, they don't realize how impersonal that can become.